Butt Hurt

The chairs at the homeowners association meeting are guaranteed to cause hemorrhoids after five minutes. Two hours into this session, and I’m losing hope for my tuchas.

Seriously. My sigmoidoscopy wasn’t this uncomfortable.


(Almost) Dunkin’ Hapa

The kid is close. Real close.

The dunk won’t get him a scholarship, but it would probably make him really happy.

Seriously, though, he gets way more air than I ever did. Must be his Chinese half. We Jews need planes to fly. 😎


I’m in the full throes of andropause. I am thus exploring many lifestyle possibilities within my extended comfort zone, with the explicit exception of the mistress+sportscar option.


Hunger Eyes

Observation: when you’re starving, jet-lagged, and stuck in an epic traffic jam, “P1224” looks like “pizza.”


I’m a Veal

This is how much ANA stuffed me belly on my first flight:

When my connecting flight was delayed three hours, they gave me a $20 food voucher and I couldn’t even use it.



Funky Landings

For the record, both Narita and Beijing Capital need crosswind runways. Soon. Maybe two each.


The Best Part about Working on Sunday…

…is that I am not working on Shabbos.